The Perils of Being “Good to Get Along With”

A couple of years ago, I was injured at work.

Really injured.

Injured in a way that I can’t go back from, only forward.

I’ve always been invested in advocacy: pushing for safer, more inclusive, more thoughtful spaces in the arts. But that injury cracked something wide open. It changed how I move through the world and how I show up in creative spaces.

With that as context, I want to talk about the perils of being “good to get along with.”

The Problem with Being “Good”

Let’s start with the obvious: we’re in an industry that thrives on personal relationships. Opportunities come through trust and collaboration. We’re told that being “easy to work with” is an asset, something that will keep us booked and blessed.

But there’s another layer to this. A gendered one. A cultural one.

As a woman, I’ve been conditioned to do the labour of getting along. Of keeping the vibe light. Of not being “difficult.” I have lived in fear of the perception that someone might think I’m a bitch.

Lately, I’ve been asking myself: Why have I worried so much?

I have been “good,” “easy,” “silent”… and as such, complicit.

And you know what?
—It hasn’t made my work better.
—It hasn’t made my life easier.

Meanwhile, others are not “good to get along with” at all.

Some are rude, erratic, dismissive, even violent. And yet, they continue to move through this industry with impunity.

Their power protects them. My “good” behaviour supports their tyranny and keeps me (and others) small.

So What Now?

Instead of striving to be “good to get along with”, I want to offer some alternatives.

Be professional.

Meet your commitments. Communicate clearly.

Be boundaried.

Know what is and isn’t yours to hold.

Be generative.

Bring your ideas, your insight, your artistry. Show up with an offer.

Be accountable.

To your craft, your collaborators, and yourself.

Be Good to One Another

Let’s be good to one another.

Not palatable. Not polite. Not easy.

But honest. Caring. Courageous.

Being good to one another is active. It means asking hard questions, respecting boundaries, and showing up with integrity. It means naming harm, taking responsibility, and holding space for growth.

Let’s start building, activating, and actioning cultures where we are actively good to one another, and not passively “good to get along with”.